bwahaha! I love you, Violet Blue!
www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi
Burning Man and safer sex
Free your mind, but watch out for crabs
While attendees of the yearly arts festival known as Burning Man come from all over the nation and the world, the impact of the costly desert bacchanalia is felt pretty strongly around San Francisco. Many rejoice at the sudden lack of rich hippies and art cars dripping Barbie heads and Legos onto the roads when fog breaks down cheap art-store epoxy, and the ease with which one can get brunch in the Mission. There are virtually no white dudes with dreadlocks for seven square miles. San Francisco smug levels ratchet back to tolerable in the absence of arty hipster trust fund brats and Web 2.0 lets-resurrect-Pets.com-as-a-vlog leeches. Super annoying guys don't hit on me in bars assuming I know what the hell they're talking about when they use terms like "the burn," "the man" and "off the grid."
And at house parties, there are no chicks that become uncontrollably drunk and then attempt to show you how they can "fire dance," accidentally setting fire to the host's potted plant/small dog/infant.
Making the e-mail rounds a few weeks ago -- and sent to me by more than one high-profile local sex educator -- was a snarky list of ways to "enjoy Burning Man at home." The list included many observations about the experience, like:
* Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.
* Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
* Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.
* Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.
* Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.
* Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.
* Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.
(more at the link)
www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi
Burning Man and safer sex
Free your mind, but watch out for crabs
While attendees of the yearly arts festival known as Burning Man come from all over the nation and the world, the impact of the costly desert bacchanalia is felt pretty strongly around San Francisco. Many rejoice at the sudden lack of rich hippies and art cars dripping Barbie heads and Legos onto the roads when fog breaks down cheap art-store epoxy, and the ease with which one can get brunch in the Mission. There are virtually no white dudes with dreadlocks for seven square miles. San Francisco smug levels ratchet back to tolerable in the absence of arty hipster trust fund brats and Web 2.0 lets-resurrect-Pets.com-as-a-vlog leeches. Super annoying guys don't hit on me in bars assuming I know what the hell they're talking about when they use terms like "the burn," "the man" and "off the grid."
And at house parties, there are no chicks that become uncontrollably drunk and then attempt to show you how they can "fire dance," accidentally setting fire to the host's potted plant/small dog/infant.
Making the e-mail rounds a few weeks ago -- and sent to me by more than one high-profile local sex educator -- was a snarky list of ways to "enjoy Burning Man at home." The list included many observations about the experience, like:
* Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.
* Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
* Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.
* Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.
* Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.
* Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.
* Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.
(more at the link)
posted by:
|
SF Bay Area
|
-
Re: ways to enjoy Burning Man at home, without going to the desert
Sun, August 26, 2007 - 1:58 PMForget crabs...why would you want to be touched by someone who hasn't bathed in 5 days? Who knows where those hands have been since last washed...
Dig the article...
